It’s Going To Be Lovely In Lincoln…

…when the fine ladies of Total-e-bound hit the Lincoln Book Fair. This year’s event, which runs from 11th to 15th May, features such notable literary names as Val McDermid, Ian McMillan (who once performed one of my poems at the Rotherham Arts Centre, fact fans!) and Poet Laureate Sir Andrew Motion. Total-E-Bound are going to be hosting a Ladies’ Evening at the Lincoln Hotel on the Tuesday night, featuring a three-course dinner, burlesque dancing, Argentine tango and an auction of promises. You’ll have the chance to bid for some fantastic prizes including having a chocolatier as your slave for two hours (and doesn’t that scenario lend itself to all kinds of delicious fictional possibilities?) and the chance to appear as the heroine of a TEB erotic romance. Tickets cost £25 and are available from the official festival website.

If you can’t make that, then join me and a number of other TEB authors, including Victoria Blisse, Serena Yates and Ansley Vaughan, for a spot of R and R in the festival Mum’s Tent on The Lawns, Lincoln Castle, on  Saturday 14th May between 10.30 and 3.30. There’ll be tea, cupcakes and other goodies, and we’ll be reading extracts from some of our work. Hope to see you there. And don’t forget to wear your flat shoes – Lincoln doesn’t have a street called Steep Hill for nothing, you know!

Lucy Felthouse Goes Ga-Ga Over Uniforms

So there I was, putting together some info for another author about great pubs in London (it’s a tough job, but when someone asks about one of your specialist subjects you just can’t say no…) and Lucy Felthouse sent through an update on the Uniform Behaviour anthology. It’s been receiving decent reviews at places like Night Owl Reviews, Romance Junkies and Filament magazine, but if you want ten good reasons why you should get hold of a copy, then Lucy’s article will provide them.

You probably already know it contains stories from authors including Victoria Blisse, Rebecca Bond, Justine Elyot, Shermaine Williams and my good self, and that part of the proceedings from its sale will go to the Help For Heroes charities, but Lucy has plenty of other naughty but nice reasons to recommend it – including winning an Ann Summers Rampant Rabbit. Hot stories, men in uniform and sexy prizes – what more could you want?

Uniform Desires

Slip into your French maid’s outfit and pay attention! The Uniform Behaviour anthology is now available, and you’ll be pleased to know that first-time editor Lucy Felthouse has done a darn good job of selecting stories that cover a wide range of uniforms and fantasies.

Rebecca Bond’s Fireman’s Lift is, as the title might lead you to guess, the tale of what happens when a middle-aged divorcee finds herself stuck in a lift with her hunky young neighbour, who just so happens to be a fireman on the way back from a call.

In Lexie Bay’s In Love And War, Anna finds a wounded Russian airman hiding in the family barn. Even though she’s putting herself in danger, she nurses him back to health, but it’s lust as much as a desire to see him safe that fuels her actions.

Humble officer cleaner Emma, in Victoria Blisse’s Dirty Deeds, is more than happy to take on extra work at the home of handsome Mr Holloway. She has the naughtiest fantasies about him as she cleans, but she never expects what will happen when an accident leaves her doing the chores in nothng but her harlequin-patterned tabard…

Editor Lucy’s own contribution is Just Couldn’t Wait. The boring press launch Carla is forced to attend is brightened up by the appearance of a cute waiter. He looks so prim and proper in his outfit she can’t wait to corrupt him, and luckily for her, he’s more than willing to be corrupted.

They say all the nice girls love a sailor, and that’s definitely the case with Philomena, in Shermaine Williams’ Crest Of A Wave. Just one glimpse of Captain Fraser’s tight white sailor suit and she’s ready to do something nautical but nice.

The second offering from Rebecca Bond, Sin City, is one of the stories in the collection told from the point of view of someone in uniform. A simple police pursuit turns into an erotic game of domination and submission as a female officer finds herself in the grasp of a perp who knows just what to do with a pair of handcuffs.

The Captain’s Persuasion by Delyth Angharad is a steamy slice of speculative fiction. When Aja Anderson joins Captain Dex’s squadron, he’s surprised to learn his newest pilot is a psion, even though her powers give her an unearthly sense of control of her plane. To his delight, she’s not just an ace in space, she’s pretty special between the sheets, too…

In Justine Elyot’s Guard Mounting, Annie is delighted to discover the man she collides with while jogging is one of the Queen’s Guard. Making a date to see him later, she can’t believe he’s smuggled his uniform out of barracks so he can model it for her, but the results are well worth it.

Cassandra Carr’s Circling is the short but sweet tale of what happens when two members of staff at the same cocktail bar finally act on the long-standing but unspoken attraction between the two of them, while Indigo Skye’s True Confession takes us into the confessional box for Charlotte’s seductive encounter with a priest.

Madeline Elayne’s Weight Of Duty is set against the backdrop of a military tattoo, where an artillery man setting up for the show gets down and dirty with cute little drummer girl Lisa.

Judy, in Hawthorn’s Venus, has booked herself on a cruise to get over her recent divorce. The trip sees her gradually coming out of her shell, aided by handsome cabin steward Matthew.

On Manoeuvres is written by Jack Delaney, who’s actually a serving soldier. The story is a fictional escapade involving Jack and Sarah, a sergeant in his regiment, who find a few interesting ways of raising each other’s morale.

In Lexie Bay’s Taken With Consent, Maddy is stuck in a police station, waiting for her brother to be released from a cell after another drink-induced offence. Fortunately, there’s a sexy desk sergeant on hand to take down her particulars…

Lingua Acutus is another army-based tale, written by Craig J. Sorensen, another writer with experience of being in the military. Transferred to a new detail, Private Wills finds himself at the mercy of a female Drill Sergeant. Sergeant Beecham is determined to keep his smart mouth in check – or, better yet, use it to provide her with a spot of pleasure…

As for my story, Strictly No Parking, it’s one for all of you who like big security guards, particularly ones who decide to mete out a good spanking to the naughty woman who leaves her car in someone else’s designated parking spot.

Uniform Behaviour is an excellent addition to the ranks of fiction for uniform fans and those with authority figure fetishes. With writers of the calibre of Justine Elyot, Lucy Felthouse, Victoria Blisse and Craig J. Sorensen, you know you’re going to get a selection of quality stories, but the contributions from the newcomers and lesser-known authors don’t disappoint. Weight Of Duty stands out as the most thought-provoking contribution, examining the attitude of the general public towards the armed forces and the sacrifices made by fighting men, while Venus is deliciously poignant in its depiction of a woman learning to enjoy life – and sex – again after years of being with a controlling husband. Elsewhere, the emphasis is very much on lust, whether in a one-off encounter or as part of something longer lasting, but what’s wrong with that?

With part of the royalties going to the Help For Heroes charity, you know you’ll be aiding a worthwhile cause as well as enjoying a good, horny read. Uniform Behaviour is available now from Amazon and All Romance e-books.

Think Big

One of the perennial debates on newspaper women’s pages is whether the hourglass figure is currently in or out (usually accompanied by old pictures of Sophia Loren squeezed into an unfeasibly tight corset). Though the answer seems to vary from week to week, it’s no doubt there are plenty of admirers of Rubenesque curves, and they’re bound to find something to enjoy in the Big And Beautiful anthology from Xcite Books.

It’s a deliciously diverse selection, both in style and setting. Alcamia Payne’s The Cherry Picker is the story of Sofia, whose figure is as juicy as the cherries she is employed to pick. It attracts the attention of her employer, Senor Porfino, who decides to show her there’s more than one way to pluck a ripe fruit. Sensuality drips from the paragraphs, and every last sexual meaning of the word ‘cherry’ is wrung from the situation as the tale builds to its climax.

Victoria Blisse’s Naked Rain sees frazzled writer Sandra greeting the first storm after a long, hot spell by dashing out to dance naked beneath the raindrops. She attracts the attention of her neighbour, Richard, and while she worries that she might be too old and too fat for him, he’s very keen to show her just how attractive and sexy he finds her. There seems to be a natural overlap between Rubenesque fetishes and cougar tales (which is a great excuse to stop worrying about the fact you weigh more now than you did when you were 18!), and Blisse’s story explores that to the full.

Ralph Greco’s Bessie Challenge is set at a mediaeval rôleplaying event which gives the very busty and very exhibitionistic Bessie the opportunity to reveal almost all in a very low-cut corset. She and the narrator, Freddy, have been friends with benefits for a while, but will Bessie’s costume capers provide a chance for them to take their relationship to a more intimate level? Greco offers the male point of view here, which is a nice counterpoint to the other stories, and Freddy’s agonising over whether becoming lovers will spoil their relationship definitely rings true.

Equally engaging as a heroine is Eliza, in Viva Jones’ Arousal. When she discovers her newspaper editor husband is cheating on her with his glamorous star columnist, she feels like her world has collapsed, particularly when she’s snapped in the tabloids looking fat and frumpy. A chance meeting with photographer Charles, who wants her to pose for him in all her naked, curvaceous glory, offers her a way to regain her self-esteem and take control of her life – as well as enjoying some fantastic sex along the way. There’s a delicious twist at the end, and Arousal stands as a perfect example of Xcite’s long-stated aim of celebrating female sexuality in their fiction.

As for the remaining story in the collection? Well, I’m responsible for that. Tight tells of what happens when Eleanor attends a job interview in a suit which has been accidentally shrunk at the dry cleaners’, and how the horny young interviewer, Ryan, reacts to the sight of her curves squeezed into the clinging garment (yes, it’s another one for cougar lovers, as well as spank fans…). Here’s a little extract to whet your appetite, but for the full story – and the adventures of the rest of the Big And Beautiful babes – go to the Xcite site:

I should have found something else to wear, but my other work suits were in storage in the attic, and I didn’t have time to go hunting for one. Already, I was running the risk of being late for the interview. I would have to go as I was.

Now, I’m a big girl. Not fat, although I would be if I didn’t exercise as frequently as I do, but voluptuous. My breasts are huge, creamy mounds that beg to spill out of a man’s hands, my thighs are full and fleshy and my bottom is round and delightfully dimpled. It’s the figure of a Forties pin-up girl, designed for the bedroom rather than the catwalk, and I’ve had more than my share of lovers who could have happily spent the rest of their lives buried in my generous curves.

Looking at myself, watching the way the buttons on my jacket strained across my chest to the point of bursting, I knew this wasn’t exactly the way I’d hoped to present myself to a prospective employer. The jacket wasn’t too much of a problem, once I’d left all but one of the buttons unfastened . The skirt was a different matter. It had been on the tight side when I bought it, as was the current fashion, but now it stretched taut as a drumskin across my backside. It clung to the gentle swell of my stomach, gave me a wiggle when I walked and made me look – available, somehow, as though I was seeking to be judged on something other than the information listed on my CV.