That’s Rich – Another Billionaire Erotic Romance?: Guest Post By Victoria Blisse

“Not another billionaire!” I have to say, I’ve said that a fair few times myself. Since that book, you know the one I mean, you can’t move for sexy books about super-rich guys.

Now that’s where mine and Lucy Felthouse’s novel is a bit different. Our billionaire is a woman.  I am sure you might wonder why she needs to be so damn rich – well, she runs into a wild man (quite literally) and the tension of the situation comes from the vast contrast in their circumstances.

So although we created another billionaire erotic romance, we hope we’ve done it in a unique and quirky way so when you read The Billionaire and the Wild Man you don’t feel like it’s just another shade of grey.

Here’s an excerpt that shows that conflict in action.

“Listen to me,” I say quietly, reaching out to take her hand. She lets me, which I see as a positive sign. “Carrie, I do fancy you. Like mad, actually. Trust me, it’s my brain that stopped me back there, not my dick.” I smile as she giggles. “It’s just … things are complicated, aren’t they?” I pause, take a deep breath. “Can I be totally honest with you?”

She nods, wide-eyed, and it’s all I can do to stop myself slipping my hand behind the base of her neck and pulling her in for a kiss. Closing my eyes briefly, I try to shove the thought away. I don’t succeed, not entirely, but I do manage to get enough of a grip on myself to say what I want to say. “Things are complicated. In so many bloody ways. I like you, Carrie, I really do. But I can’t help thinking about what would happen if we got together. I know most men would just go for it, go to bed with you, and not give a toss about the consequences. But I think you already know I’m not most men. I’ve been through some shit … which I’ll try and tell you about one day soon, perhaps after a couple of beers. But it’s made me appreciate life that much more, appreciate friends, relationships. I try my hardest to treat people better. And because I haven’t really got any friends, not any more, I don’t want to lose you if something more didn’t work out between us.”

She tries to cut in. “Flynn—”

“Please,” I say, squeezing her hand gently. “Let me finish. Once I’ve got it all out, you can say your bit.”

She nods again, and I continue. “There’s also the small matter of me being a homeless, penniless bloke, and you’re a rich goddess that runs a hotel chain. If we were to get together, folk would think I was scrounging off you. And as much as I’d like more money—who wouldn’t, except maybe you—I don’t want to be a kept man. I’ve worked for my wages all of my life, still do, and that’s the way I like it. Perhaps I’m crazy, but I’m a traditional sort, and I’m too old to change now. Okay, I’m done. Your turn.”

Carrie huffs out a breath, then brings my hand up to her mouth and presses a kiss to my knuckles. “You’re not old, you idiot. But I get the bit about not changing. And I’m glad—I like you the way you are. As for what you said, I get it. I totally get that there are obstacles between us, things that could trip us up. I’ve got more than a few issues myself, as you know. Since we’re being totally honest, I am sorry I went off on one, but I’m not sorry we kissed. This will probably make me sound totally mush or full of shit, but I can’t remember the last time someone made me feel the way you do.”

My heart pounds faster, and the urge to kiss her returns with a vengeance, but I keep perfectly quiet and still. I suspect she’s not even this honest with her shrink, so I’m not about to ruin it now. She’s really opening up to me.

“You know about what I do, who I am, but you don’t care. Well, not don’t care, but you don’t see it as what I am. Just what I do. Christ, am I making any sense?” She passes her free hand across her forehead, and I nod, smiling.

“Carry on, sweetheart, I’m listening.”

“You make me feel like a person, not just a bank balance, or a businesswoman, a CEO, whatever. To you, I’m just Carrie. Perhaps if we’d met under different circumstances, things would be different, but I’m glad we didn’t. I like being just Carrie, a woman who wanders around barefoot and has a crazy mother. Having said all that,” she scratches her head, and a tiny frown line appears between her eyebrows, “you’re obviously very aware of the billionaire CEO bit, because it’s putting you off pursuing anything with me.”

Wow. So she’s actually a billionaire then. I’d suspected as much, but to have it confirmed… I manage to stifle my awe at her success, and reply to her. “Not just that. That’s a very small part of it. I’m a big boy, and if people want to think crap about me then they can. But I also wouldn’t want you to think I was taking advantage of your money and position. Mainly, though, I’m a bit fucked up and I’m frightened of getting attached to you romantically and losing the only thing resembling a friend that I’ve had since I went AWOL.”

Carrie lets out a sound of irritation, which is pretty damn cute. I suppress a smile, knowing it’s not the right time for humor.

“So what the hell do we do now? We like each other, but there’s crap in the way. I can’t make my money or career disappear in a cloud of smoke, and you can’t magic up a billion pound career of your own overnight. And even if you could, you can’t erase your past.”

“I guess we just have to keep things platonic,” I say, but even as the words come out of my mouth, my fingers are entwining with hers, and every cell in my body is yearning for her, in the exact opposite way to platonic.

She nods, but doesn’t pull her hand away. “Yeah, I guess we do. Just ignore that we fancy each other, and stick with being friends.” The tone of her voice sounds weird, almost strangled, and I notice she’s edging still closer to me, so close our bodies are touching.

“Mmm-hmm.” Come to think of it, I sound a bit weird myself. I’m just contemplating what it means when Carrie does the very thing I’d been thinking about doing to her. She slips her hand around the back of my neck, tangles her fingers in my hair, and pulls me down toward her for a kiss. Her mouth is hot, wet and ready, and my brain is screaming no while the rest of me is telling it to fuck right off!

Blurb:

Flynn Gifford is enjoying a simple existence in a rural Derbyshire village when Caroline Rogers crashes into his life, barefoot and panicked.

Their lives could hardly be more different—she owns a successful luxury hotel chain, and he’s a penniless nomad who’s off the grid—yet neither can deny the attraction that burns between them. As Caroline reluctantly starts to open up to him, Flynn finds himself divulging some secrets of his own, secrets he thought he’d take to his grave.

But can a billionaire and a wild man ever make a relationship work, or will their secrets keep them apart?

Buy links:

Amazon: http://mybook.to/wildman

BookStrand: http://www.bookstrand.com/the-billionaire-and-the-wild-man-mf

Evernight Publishing: http://www.evernightpublishing.com/the-billionaire-and-the-wild-man-by-lucy-felthouse-and-victoria-blisse/

Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/books/1124998452?ean=2940153796611

iBooks: https://itunes.apple.com/book/billionaire-wild-man/id1169282940?mt=11

Kobo: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-us/ebook/the-billionaire-and-the-wild-man

All Romance eBooks: https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-thebillionaireandthewildman-2150971-149.html

*****

Author Bios:

Lucy Felthouse:

Lucy Felthouse is the award-winning author of erotic romance novels Stately Pleasures (named in the top 5 of Cliterati.co.uk’s 100 Modern Erotic Classics That You’ve Never Heard Of, and an Amazon bestseller), Eyes Wide Open (winner of the Love Romances Café’s Best Ménage Book 2015 award, and an Amazon bestseller) and The Persecution of the Wolves. Including novels, short stories and novellas, she has over 150 publications to her name. She owns Erotica For All, and is one eighth of The Brit Babes. Find out more about her writing at http://lucyfelthouse.co.uk, or on Twitter or Facebook. Sign up for automatic updates on Amazon or BookBub. You can also subscribe to her monthly newsletter at: http://eepurl.com/gMQb9

Victoria Blisse:

Victoria Blisse is a Mother, Wife, Christian, Manchester United Fan and Award Winning Erotica Author and all round Cheeky Wench. She is also the editor of several Bigger Briefs collections, and the co-editor of the fabulous Smut Alfresco, Smut by the Sea (Vol.1), Smut by the Sea (Vol.2), Smut by the Sea (Vol.3), and Smut in the City Anthologies.

She is the mistress of Smut UK putting on Smut Events, Days & Evenings dedicated to erotica, socializing, fun and prizes. Check out Smut Nights, Smut by the Sea: Scarborough, and Smut Manchester for more info.

Born near Manchester, England, her northern English quirkiness shows through in all of her stories along with her own particular brand of humour and romance that bring laughs and warm fuzzies in equal measure.

Passion, love and laughter fill her works, just as they fill her busy life.

You can often find Victoria procrastinating on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.

*****

GIVEAWAY!

Make sure to follow the whole tour—the more posts you visit throughout, the more chances you’ll get to enter the giveaway. The tour dates are here: http://www.writermarketing.co.uk/prpromotion/blog-tours/currently-on-tour/lucy-felthouse-victoria-blisse/

And visit http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/8b9ec5be175/? for your chance to win a bumper selection of e-books from Lucy and Victoria.

 

Backlist Blast: Big and Beautiful

If you’re in the mood for a bit of Rubensque fun to get you into that Friday mood, here’s something that might just do the trick, courtesy of Tight. The story comes from Xcite’s Big and Beautiful anthology, which also features contributions from the top-class line-up of Alcamia Payne, Victoria Blisse, Ralph Greco and Viva Jones.

To set the scene briefly, Eleanor has been called to attend a job interview but a mishap at the dry cleaner’s means she’s wearing a suit that is rather too tight for her very voluptuous frame. She feels more than a little self-conscious, but she isn’t prepared for the reaction her appearance arouses in the man who’s interviewing her, and the unorthodox direction the interview begins to take.

‘Now, Eleanor, I’d like you to go over to the cupboard by the door. On the top shelf there’s a wooden puzzle. Could you get it down for me and bring it back to the desk, please?’

Another odd request, but I obeyed without hesitation.

If this was all, as I suspected, some kind of initiative which would involve me solving the puzzle once I’d brought it to him, I was more than happy to comply.
There was a metal stool on casters, much like the ones employed in library stacks for reaching books on the highest shelves, and I knew I would need to use it to gain access to the top shelf. I had to adjust my skirt to help me climb up onto the stool, hitching it almost high enough to give Ryan an inadvertent flash of my stocking tops. I thought I heard him give a little murmur of approval from behind me, but dismissed it as nothing more than my overheated imagination.
Once I had clambered down, smoothing my skirt in place once I was back on solid ground, I took the puzzle and placed it on Ryan’s desk.

‘Would you like me to solve it now?’ I asked. I’d been studying the puzzle as I carried it over. It was in the shape of a box, which had to be taken apart and put back together again, and it looked simpler than I was sure it really was.
‘No. Actually, what I’d like you to do is bend over the desk for me.’
‘I’m sorry?’ I couldn’t have heard him right.

‘No hesitation, please, Eleanor. Over the desk for me. Now.’

There was an edge to his voice I hadn’t heard before. Stern, authoritative. Never mind the fact he was so much younger than me. Suddenly, he was taking control of the interview in a way I had never expected.

Still, I was reluctant to do as he asked. I didn’t want to think about what my bottom would look like, the skirt stretched so tight across it, or what he might choose to do once he had me in that position.

‘Do I have to haul you over it, Eleanor?’ he snapped.

So I made a space for myself among all the papers on his big desk, and bent over it, just as he’d requested. My big tits were crushed against the desk top, the feel of cool metal through my clothing causing my nipples to spring to life. He came to stand behind me, and the next thing I felt was his hand smoothing over the ample moons of my arse.

‘Oh, that’s wonderful,’ he murmured, as though in some kind of reverie. ‘From the moment you walked into my office, I said to myself, “There’s a woman I want to have over my desk, bare and waiting for the crack of my hand on her arse.” You really have the most glorious figure, Eleanor. The sort of figure I thought was disappearing, what with all these faddy diets and this desire to be so thin you’re practically invisible. A woman is meant to have curves like yours, lush and inviting …’

To find out how Eleanor gets out of her predicament (assuming, of course, that she really wants to), and read the other luscious stories in the collection, pick up Big and Beautiful from Xcite Books and Amazon.

Enjoy A Christmas Rendezvous For Blissemas

The very lovely Victoria Blisse is celebrating the festive season with a kiss. Yes, it’s Blissemas 2013, and erotic authors are marking the occasion with a Christmas-themed kiss. Now, Victoria encouraged us to be as creative as we liked with the extracts and the lips that meet as part of them, so here’s a scene from my Xcite novella, Christmas Rendezvous, in which heroine Juliette and Laurens, the owner of the Bruges bed and breakfast establishment where she’s unexpectedly spending Christmas have some very adult fun on the stairs of the B and B. Enjoy!

We only made it halfway before the urge to go further overtook Laurens once more. He guided me down so I was sitting on one of the stairs, then he knelt below me, and spread my legs as wide as they would go. The assured feel of his hands against my soft flesh almost took my breath away. It wasn’t the most dignified pose I’d ever found myself in, but my heart pounded wildly and I stripped off my T-shirt, so Laurens could enjoy the sight of me in just my bra. He traced a thumb over the taut nubs of my nipples, all too visible beneath the beige cotton. They peaked even further, in response to his teasing touch, and I let out a needy moan.

‘You want this, don’t you?’ Laurens chuckled, amused by my obvious state of readiness.

All I could do was nod as he traced a finger over my pussy. I didn’t want to let him know how long it had been since a man had last had me in this hot and bothered state. I braced myself, pressing the heels of my palms against the step as Laurens lowered his head. As his breath huffed against my opening, I squirmed, wanting to push my hips up towards him but knowing that wasn’t an option in this position.

His tongue slithered over my splayed sex lips, and I gripped the carpeted lip of the step, fierce delight shivering through me. Again and again he repeated the motion, licking me from my clit to my furled rosebud. The sensation of his tongue brushing over my rear hole was the naughtiest thing I’d ever experienced, and I wondered whether he’d dare to actually push his tongue-tip inside. Dale had never wanted to play with me there, and until now I’d never realised just how good it could feel.

‘Yes, yes,’ I kept babbling, as Laurens began to concentrate solely on my clit, lapping at it with rapid, flickering strokes. A wave of tension was beginning to build low in my belly, created by the pressure of that supple, sinuous tongue. Lost in bliss, I palmed and squeezed my own breasts, adding another level of sensation to that which already threatened to take me over the edge.

‘Don’t stop,’ I begged, even though he seemed to have no intention of pulling away this time. I gripped his head with my thighs, aware of the slight prickle of his stubble against my soft skin as I kept him where I needed him most. My pleasure crested and I yelled out. Only when the last slow wave had rolled through my body did I release my hold on Laurens. He looked up at me, his lips and cheeks glossy with my juices.

‘Good?’ he asked.

‘Mm-hm. But I think it’s your turn now.’

If you want to find out how much hotter Juliette and Laurens’ Christmas gets, you can find Christmas Rendezvous at Xcite and Amazon. And you can enjoy the full magnificence of Blissemas and find out about the prizes Victoria is giving away here.

Coming Together With Curves

Coming Together: With Curves, edited by Victoria Blisse and Lucy Felthouse

Curvy girls and the men (and women!) that love them is the theme of this charity anthology, edited by Victoria Blisse and Lucy Felthouse.

From Zumba classes to Burlesque dancers, all kinds of big and beautiful women are portrayed between the pages of this book. Read about birthday surprises, smut at the gym, horse riders, lusty couples, naughty neighbours, skilled bakers, rope bondage and misunderstandings from some of erotica’s best authors.

Sales proceeds benefit Parkinson’s UK.

Contents: Six Lengths of Red Hemp (Tilly Hunter), Cross Trainer Number Four (Lily Harlem), Bella Buxom, Just Squeeze Me (JoAnne Kenrick), Captivated (Elizabeth Lapthorne), Red Rag to a Bull (Victoria Blisse), Girl Next Door (Bella Blake), Lush Buns (Sommer Marsden), The Big Reveal (Giselle Renarde), The Wrong End of the Stick (Lucy Felthouse), Riding School (Bella Blake), Flesh For Fantasy (Lexie Bay).

Available from: http://lucyfelthouse.co.uk/published-works/coming-together-with-curves/

*****

Bonnie stifled a sigh. He was doing it again. Staring at her, as he had been every day that week. She was on a fortnight’s training course through work. She was the only one from her office who’d been sent. As a result, she knew no one and ended up sitting alone in the college’s cafeteria at lunchtimes. She’d had a couple of invites from kindly people also on her course, but she’d turned them down. It wasn’t that she was being rude or anti-social, she just hated people to see her eat. She was a big girl—that was putting it politely—and when people saw her eat, she could feel the judgment rolling off them in waves, the thoughts that she was fat because she ate so much.

It wasn’t true. About what she ate, that was. She was fat, and there was no denying it. But it certainly wasn’t her doing. She’d been born to large parents, and despite a healthy diet and plenty of exercise, she was still overweight. All she ever managed to shift was a pound or two here and there, and that was hardly noticeable, particularly on a woman her size. She kept at it, though, resigned to being a larger lady, but determined not to get any bigger.

Because she’d always been big, she was used to the snide comments, the dirty and derisive looks, the open stares. So it didn’t upset her any more, but she still got irritated when people simply gawped at her. Surely one glance was enough for them to ascertain that yes, she was a shapely girl, and then move on. In most cases it was, particularly if she glared at the person in question. But not with this guy. She was sure he was trying to be subtle, because he often averted his gaze as she trained hers on him. But even if he’d looked away, she could tell by the position of his head and body that he’d been peeking at her. Again.

Now, on day seven, she was almost at boiling point. What the hell was his problem? Had no one ever told him it was rude to stare? She was on the verge of doing just that.

Eating her lunch was an unpleasant task, knowing she was being observed. If she hadn’t been so damn hungry, she’d have left it. But she’d been running late that morning and had committed that mortal sin—missing breakfast. So her chicken salad—with no dressing—was absolutely necessary to avoid making herself feel ill, or passing out, so she devoured every last morsel. She ate faster than she normally would, not because she was being greedy, but because the sooner she finished eating, the sooner she’d stop feeling so damn self-conscious about the guy across the room watching her.

She decided to give him one last chance. When she’d finished her lunch, she’d drink her carton of apple juice, then sit for a few seconds, doing nothing. If he continued to look at her, she was going to stomp over there and give him what for. If he didn’t, then she’d carry on with life and do her best to forget about him and his rudeness.

Deep down, she knew she was going to have to go over and say something to him. After seven days, he wasn’t going to suddenly amend his habits. She was just being a bit of a wimp, really, hoping to find some way of getting out of confrontation, because she didn’t like it, not one bit, and it was absolutely a last resort. Unfortunately, she couldn’t think of a single other way of stopping him from doing it. Perhaps she could put up a sign in front of her saying “Please stop staring at me.” But if he couldn’t take the hint when she’d glared at him, he wouldn’t take any notice of a piece of paper.

Several minutes later, her salad was gone and she moved onto her drink. With a sinking feeling in her gut, she saw he was just as interested in her now as he had been when she’d been eating. Damn, confrontation it was then.

Draining the carton, she gathered her plate, cutlery and other rubbish onto her tray, stood up and slid it onto the rack nearest her. Then she returned to her table, grabbed her bag, pulled in a deep breath through her nostrils and marched over to the Peeping Tom. She slid out the chair opposite him and sat down on it.

*****

Editor sites:

http://victoriablisse.co.uk

http://lucyfelthouse.co.uk

It’s Going To Be Lovely In Lincoln…

…when the fine ladies of Total-e-bound hit the Lincoln Book Fair. This year’s event, which runs from 11th to 15th May, features such notable literary names as Val McDermid, Ian McMillan (who once performed one of my poems at the Rotherham Arts Centre, fact fans!) and Poet Laureate Sir Andrew Motion. Total-E-Bound are going to be hosting a Ladies’ Evening at the Lincoln Hotel on the Tuesday night, featuring a three-course dinner, burlesque dancing, Argentine tango and an auction of promises. You’ll have the chance to bid for some fantastic prizes including having a chocolatier as your slave for two hours (and doesn’t that scenario lend itself to all kinds of delicious fictional possibilities?) and the chance to appear as the heroine of a TEB erotic romance. Tickets cost £25 and are available from the official festival website.

If you can’t make that, then join me and a number of other TEB authors, including Victoria Blisse, Serena Yates and Ansley Vaughan, for a spot of R and R in the festival Mum’s Tent on The Lawns, Lincoln Castle, on  Saturday 14th May between 10.30 and 3.30. There’ll be tea, cupcakes and other goodies, and we’ll be reading extracts from some of our work. Hope to see you there. And don’t forget to wear your flat shoes – Lincoln doesn’t have a street called Steep Hill for nothing, you know!

Lucy Felthouse Goes Ga-Ga Over Uniforms

So there I was, putting together some info for another author about great pubs in London (it’s a tough job, but when someone asks about one of your specialist subjects you just can’t say no…) and Lucy Felthouse sent through an update on the Uniform Behaviour anthology. It’s been receiving decent reviews at places like Night Owl Reviews, Romance Junkies and Filament magazine, but if you want ten good reasons why you should get hold of a copy, then Lucy’s article will provide them.

You probably already know it contains stories from authors including Victoria Blisse, Rebecca Bond, Justine Elyot, Shermaine Williams and my good self, and that part of the proceedings from its sale will go to the Help For Heroes charities, but Lucy has plenty of other naughty but nice reasons to recommend it – including winning an Ann Summers Rampant Rabbit. Hot stories, men in uniform and sexy prizes – what more could you want?

Uniform Desires

Slip into your French maid’s outfit and pay attention! The Uniform Behaviour anthology is now available, and you’ll be pleased to know that first-time editor Lucy Felthouse has done a darn good job of selecting stories that cover a wide range of uniforms and fantasies.

Rebecca Bond’s Fireman’s Lift is, as the title might lead you to guess, the tale of what happens when a middle-aged divorcee finds herself stuck in a lift with her hunky young neighbour, who just so happens to be a fireman on the way back from a call.

In Lexie Bay’s In Love And War, Anna finds a wounded Russian airman hiding in the family barn. Even though she’s putting herself in danger, she nurses him back to health, but it’s lust as much as a desire to see him safe that fuels her actions.

Humble officer cleaner Emma, in Victoria Blisse’s Dirty Deeds, is more than happy to take on extra work at the home of handsome Mr Holloway. She has the naughtiest fantasies about him as she cleans, but she never expects what will happen when an accident leaves her doing the chores in nothng but her harlequin-patterned tabard…

Editor Lucy’s own contribution is Just Couldn’t Wait. The boring press launch Carla is forced to attend is brightened up by the appearance of a cute waiter. He looks so prim and proper in his outfit she can’t wait to corrupt him, and luckily for her, he’s more than willing to be corrupted.

They say all the nice girls love a sailor, and that’s definitely the case with Philomena, in Shermaine Williams’ Crest Of A Wave. Just one glimpse of Captain Fraser’s tight white sailor suit and she’s ready to do something nautical but nice.

The second offering from Rebecca Bond, Sin City, is one of the stories in the collection told from the point of view of someone in uniform. A simple police pursuit turns into an erotic game of domination and submission as a female officer finds herself in the grasp of a perp who knows just what to do with a pair of handcuffs.

The Captain’s Persuasion by Delyth Angharad is a steamy slice of speculative fiction. When Aja Anderson joins Captain Dex’s squadron, he’s surprised to learn his newest pilot is a psion, even though her powers give her an unearthly sense of control of her plane. To his delight, she’s not just an ace in space, she’s pretty special between the sheets, too…

In Justine Elyot’s Guard Mounting, Annie is delighted to discover the man she collides with while jogging is one of the Queen’s Guard. Making a date to see him later, she can’t believe he’s smuggled his uniform out of barracks so he can model it for her, but the results are well worth it.

Cassandra Carr’s Circling is the short but sweet tale of what happens when two members of staff at the same cocktail bar finally act on the long-standing but unspoken attraction between the two of them, while Indigo Skye’s True Confession takes us into the confessional box for Charlotte’s seductive encounter with a priest.

Madeline Elayne’s Weight Of Duty is set against the backdrop of a military tattoo, where an artillery man setting up for the show gets down and dirty with cute little drummer girl Lisa.

Judy, in Hawthorn’s Venus, has booked herself on a cruise to get over her recent divorce. The trip sees her gradually coming out of her shell, aided by handsome cabin steward Matthew.

On Manoeuvres is written by Jack Delaney, who’s actually a serving soldier. The story is a fictional escapade involving Jack and Sarah, a sergeant in his regiment, who find a few interesting ways of raising each other’s morale.

In Lexie Bay’s Taken With Consent, Maddy is stuck in a police station, waiting for her brother to be released from a cell after another drink-induced offence. Fortunately, there’s a sexy desk sergeant on hand to take down her particulars…

Lingua Acutus is another army-based tale, written by Craig J. Sorensen, another writer with experience of being in the military. Transferred to a new detail, Private Wills finds himself at the mercy of a female Drill Sergeant. Sergeant Beecham is determined to keep his smart mouth in check – or, better yet, use it to provide her with a spot of pleasure…

As for my story, Strictly No Parking, it’s one for all of you who like big security guards, particularly ones who decide to mete out a good spanking to the naughty woman who leaves her car in someone else’s designated parking spot.

Uniform Behaviour is an excellent addition to the ranks of fiction for uniform fans and those with authority figure fetishes. With writers of the calibre of Justine Elyot, Lucy Felthouse, Victoria Blisse and Craig J. Sorensen, you know you’re going to get a selection of quality stories, but the contributions from the newcomers and lesser-known authors don’t disappoint. Weight Of Duty stands out as the most thought-provoking contribution, examining the attitude of the general public towards the armed forces and the sacrifices made by fighting men, while Venus is deliciously poignant in its depiction of a woman learning to enjoy life – and sex – again after years of being with a controlling husband. Elsewhere, the emphasis is very much on lust, whether in a one-off encounter or as part of something longer lasting, but what’s wrong with that?

With part of the royalties going to the Help For Heroes charity, you know you’ll be aiding a worthwhile cause as well as enjoying a good, horny read. Uniform Behaviour is available now from Amazon and All Romance e-books.

Think Big

One of the perennial debates on newspaper women’s pages is whether the hourglass figure is currently in or out (usually accompanied by old pictures of Sophia Loren squeezed into an unfeasibly tight corset). Though the answer seems to vary from week to week, it’s no doubt there are plenty of admirers of Rubenesque curves, and they’re bound to find something to enjoy in the Big And Beautiful anthology from Xcite Books.

It’s a deliciously diverse selection, both in style and setting. Alcamia Payne’s The Cherry Picker is the story of Sofia, whose figure is as juicy as the cherries she is employed to pick. It attracts the attention of her employer, Senor Porfino, who decides to show her there’s more than one way to pluck a ripe fruit. Sensuality drips from the paragraphs, and every last sexual meaning of the word ‘cherry’ is wrung from the situation as the tale builds to its climax.

Victoria Blisse’s Naked Rain sees frazzled writer Sandra greeting the first storm after a long, hot spell by dashing out to dance naked beneath the raindrops. She attracts the attention of her neighbour, Richard, and while she worries that she might be too old and too fat for him, he’s very keen to show her just how attractive and sexy he finds her. There seems to be a natural overlap between Rubenesque fetishes and cougar tales (which is a great excuse to stop worrying about the fact you weigh more now than you did when you were 18!), and Blisse’s story explores that to the full.

Ralph Greco’s Bessie Challenge is set at a mediaeval rôleplaying event which gives the very busty and very exhibitionistic Bessie the opportunity to reveal almost all in a very low-cut corset. She and the narrator, Freddy, have been friends with benefits for a while, but will Bessie’s costume capers provide a chance for them to take their relationship to a more intimate level? Greco offers the male point of view here, which is a nice counterpoint to the other stories, and Freddy’s agonising over whether becoming lovers will spoil their relationship definitely rings true.

Equally engaging as a heroine is Eliza, in Viva Jones’ Arousal. When she discovers her newspaper editor husband is cheating on her with his glamorous star columnist, she feels like her world has collapsed, particularly when she’s snapped in the tabloids looking fat and frumpy. A chance meeting with photographer Charles, who wants her to pose for him in all her naked, curvaceous glory, offers her a way to regain her self-esteem and take control of her life – as well as enjoying some fantastic sex along the way. There’s a delicious twist at the end, and Arousal stands as a perfect example of Xcite’s long-stated aim of celebrating female sexuality in their fiction.

As for the remaining story in the collection? Well, I’m responsible for that. Tight tells of what happens when Eleanor attends a job interview in a suit which has been accidentally shrunk at the dry cleaners’, and how the horny young interviewer, Ryan, reacts to the sight of her curves squeezed into the clinging garment (yes, it’s another one for cougar lovers, as well as spank fans…). Here’s a little extract to whet your appetite, but for the full story – and the adventures of the rest of the Big And Beautiful babes – go to the Xcite site:

I should have found something else to wear, but my other work suits were in storage in the attic, and I didn’t have time to go hunting for one. Already, I was running the risk of being late for the interview. I would have to go as I was.

Now, I’m a big girl. Not fat, although I would be if I didn’t exercise as frequently as I do, but voluptuous. My breasts are huge, creamy mounds that beg to spill out of a man’s hands, my thighs are full and fleshy and my bottom is round and delightfully dimpled. It’s the figure of a Forties pin-up girl, designed for the bedroom rather than the catwalk, and I’ve had more than my share of lovers who could have happily spent the rest of their lives buried in my generous curves.

Looking at myself, watching the way the buttons on my jacket strained across my chest to the point of bursting, I knew this wasn’t exactly the way I’d hoped to present myself to a prospective employer. The jacket wasn’t too much of a problem, once I’d left all but one of the buttons unfastened . The skirt was a different matter. It had been on the tight side when I bought it, as was the current fashion, but now it stretched taut as a drumskin across my backside. It clung to the gentle swell of my stomach, gave me a wiggle when I walked and made me look – available, somehow, as though I was seeking to be judged on something other than the information listed on my CV.